...and, for the last 18 years, I have lived with two of my own flesh-and-blood sons. There isn't a week that has gone by that at least one of my sons has not looked at me with glossy-eyes as I'm on a rant about something--the details...all of them. They. Are. Important. Sometimes, I will see an imaginary thought bubble over those glossy-eyes that says, "You are, in fact, crazy. And why exactly do you think I care about this?" Which, of course, makes me mad, which causes the "need" (yes, need, not want....NEED) for me to continue on my explanation of the topic-at-hand.
Men and women are different. Research has proven that the male and female brains work differently. Why...just why...can't this female brain not wrap her head around this fact? I mean, I can when I slow down long enough, or I have the proverbial face slap moment, but on a daily basis--I'm as dense and clueless as a male brain can be. ...said in complete love, of course. Simple--not dense and clueless. :)
In second grade (a mere eight years ago), my youngest son came home from school after an argument with a female classmate. He said, "Anne (name changed to protect the innocent) said that the teacher isn't the boss of the classroom. I argued with her, but Anne was telling me all these details about why that wasn't true."
I asked, "What were the details?"
"I don't know. I wasn't listening. I just know that the teacher is the boss of the classroom...and is the boss of us while we are at school."
"Who is the boss of you at home?"
"Well, you are...until I get married. Then my wife will be. It's just easier that way."
To this day, I still not only remember the details of the story, but also wonder what Anne's reasoning was. These are the kinds of "wonders" that make the males in my life want to grab a beverage and watch a game on tv...
I've talked to my girlfriends about these same brain differences. It is always more fun to discuss the frustration than it is to live it. Why do I get my feelings hurt? Why do I immediately go to the place of, "I'm not being heard. They don't care.... " The fact is, that most males in my life do care, they just don't really care about my details--or in the way that I care about it.
Last night, I had a similar conversation with a male friend. In the most gentle way possible, he said, "I'm a man...and have a male brain." It was such an "aha" moment for me. After the conversation, I walked out to the family room where I told my son goodnight. He asked why I was laughing. I started in on explanation. He picked up the remote paused ESPN and looked at me with his eyes glazed over.
I stopped. "Nevermind. I just had a funny conversation."
"O.k. Goodnight Mom. Love you"
...it's just easier that way.