It's a long story as to why, but suffice it to say, yesterday I was not at my usual job location. I was outside much of the time, and it was very windy. Not cold/windy, but just windy.
As I walked into the office yesterday afternoon, an employee said, "Wow, it must have been windy?" At that point, I knew I looked like I felt. "How could you tell?" as my newly cut, wispy bangs stood straight up. The group laughed. I laughed.
You see, many times, and to most people, I cover up the emotions that go with this project that was assigned to me. Colleagues have said, "I'm glad it's you and not me."
And, along with this project, comes offsite work to a place I like less than the project. As a good soldier, I think "I'm thankful I have a job." ...along with the other statements of... I can do this; just don't think about it; think about the good that it can do; just get it done. Blah. Blah. Blah.
The employee continued. "And you look tired. I mean, more tired than you usually look. You always look tired."
Nervous laughter from the group ensued, as an aha moment happened for me.
There I was. Trying to hold a project together by threads. Physical threads. Financial threads. Emotional Threads. Trying to do it with a smile. Trying to find the good things. ...and apparently, I looked like I felt. An wind-torn, emotional, tired mess.
<I have to digress a bit. The day before, it slipped that I was called "Glinda the Good Witch" by many staff in the organization. Although still a witch (which may come with the job), I thought it was pretty funny. >
Back to the wind torn/tired convo.....
I laughed and and retorted, "Yesterday, I found out that I'm Glinda the Good Witch. Today, I'm IN the tornado. Who knew!"
By now everyone was laughing. Laughter is good for the soul--all of our souls.
But those initial words so aptly held up a mirror to me that represented how I felt--a tired mess--and resonated with me the rest of the day and evening. After I got through the "Boy-you-sure-are-doing-a-shitty-job-at-covering-up-how-you-are-feeling and what-kind-of-leader-are-you tapes in my head, I realized I'm human. I'm an imperfect...or perfect...human. ...and it was o.k. Actually, it was embraced.
So after some sleep (true, probably not enough), I am off to follow the yellow brick road again today. May you, too, enjoy you the Tin Men, Scarecrows, and Lions you meet--accept these people for who they are, quirks and all. They will rescue you from those flying monkeys--called tapes we play in our heads.
As I walked into the office yesterday afternoon, an employee said, "Wow, it must have been windy?" At that point, I knew I looked like I felt. "How could you tell?" as my newly cut, wispy bangs stood straight up. The group laughed. I laughed.
You see, many times, and to most people, I cover up the emotions that go with this project that was assigned to me. Colleagues have said, "I'm glad it's you and not me."
And, along with this project, comes offsite work to a place I like less than the project. As a good soldier, I think "I'm thankful I have a job." ...along with the other statements of... I can do this; just don't think about it; think about the good that it can do; just get it done. Blah. Blah. Blah.
The employee continued. "And you look tired. I mean, more tired than you usually look. You always look tired."
Nervous laughter from the group ensued, as an aha moment happened for me.
There I was. Trying to hold a project together by threads. Physical threads. Financial threads. Emotional Threads. Trying to do it with a smile. Trying to find the good things. ...and apparently, I looked like I felt. An wind-torn, emotional, tired mess.
<I have to digress a bit. The day before, it slipped that I was called "Glinda the Good Witch" by many staff in the organization. Although still a witch (which may come with the job), I thought it was pretty funny. >
Back to the wind torn/tired convo.....
I laughed and and retorted, "Yesterday, I found out that I'm Glinda the Good Witch. Today, I'm IN the tornado. Who knew!"
By now everyone was laughing. Laughter is good for the soul--all of our souls.
But those initial words so aptly held up a mirror to me that represented how I felt--a tired mess--and resonated with me the rest of the day and evening. After I got through the "Boy-you-sure-are-doing-a-shitty-job-at-covering-up-how-you-are-feeling and what-kind-of-leader-are-you tapes in my head, I realized I'm human. I'm an imperfect...or perfect...human. ...and it was o.k. Actually, it was embraced.
So after some sleep (true, probably not enough), I am off to follow the yellow brick road again today. May you, too, enjoy you the Tin Men, Scarecrows, and Lions you meet--accept these people for who they are, quirks and all. They will rescue you from those flying monkeys--called tapes we play in our heads.